haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
smell my finger.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize