he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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