But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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