Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
