someone get that fucking seahorse.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize