I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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