Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
