if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm always down for nudity.
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