i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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