I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you traded sex for a burrito?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
