I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
