Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like abortions should bother me more
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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