If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
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