John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
