yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
