I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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