Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
