i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
