No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize