Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would ride that face into the sunset
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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