you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
