wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im holly from the hills drunk
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
