everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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