he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
