All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
