Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
