Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize