We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
