this beer tastes like vomit already
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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