Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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