im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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