i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
