Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
