I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
