Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
