Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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