Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
