Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
