Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
