3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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