My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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