I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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