Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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