HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
