my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
