If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize