idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
