I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
