Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
