Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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