god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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