Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize