i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
