physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I cut my penus on the lid.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
