This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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