I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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