I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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