We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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