shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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