Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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